The night my life forever changed for the second time, I stalked and cornered a teenage boy into an alley, much like the one who created me had done nearly two-hundred years before. This teenage boy—who appeared young, fit and perfectly healthy—had no time to respond when I slapped a hand to his mouth, bent my head to his neck, and slid my fangs into his jugular. As always, the intimacy between hunter and prey brought about a carnal need that only came when I fed. Normally, I would’ve pulled the boy to the ground and savagely raped him as I fed, for even I was a monster whose perversions ran deeper than blood. But, for some reason, I didn’t. Instead, I ground our pelvises together, pressing my body against his as I clamped down harder on his neck. He struggled, but gradually relaxed as his body went into shock. He even arched his back when pleasure overtook his body, signaling that he hadn’t completely died.
After I finished, I released my hold on his neck and pressed my bloody lips to his, prying his mouth open to relish his taste one last time before standing and fleeing the alley. Had I had more time—or the urge—I would have stripped him naked and delighted in the pleasures of his body. I’d done so before, with older boys and young men who preferred my company instead of none, but something about the boy had told me to leave him alone.
Something about him had told me to just let it be.
I found out why several months later.
Amidst feeding on the teenage boys and older, homeless men I’d been silently stalking at night, I found myself feeling weaker than I had ever felt before. Several times, I had to abandon a potential kill because I figured him too strong, or because I would never be able to catch and subdue him quick enough. This lack of energy had nothing to do with my blood intake—because I fed on average once or twice a week—but something else entirely.
Then, one night, after I stumbled out of bed and into my apartment’s bathroom, I discovered the reason for my frailty.
Blanketing the underside of my arms, the base of my neck and inner thighs, dark, purple sores protruded from my skin like the black plague that had once savaged ancient Europe, signaling the beginning of an eternity of suffering. At first, I didn’t know what to do. Then, slowly, I reached up, touched my neck, and traced the perimeter of a sore with my finger.
What I found astounded me.
I could actually feel pain.
Pain, I thought, and couldn’t help but shed a tear as I felt the first human emotion I had in over two-hundred years. So this is what it feels like.
Despite the measures I had went to, and despite the security I had felt in choosing my victims, I had contracted the disease—the incurable power.
My next thought was that I had to get treatment, because they said if you started early, you could potentially stop the disease before it did too much damage.
Slowly—and with more agony than I had ever felt in my life—I realized that I could not go in for treatment. How would they treat me—a two-hundred-year-old creature of the night? They couldn’t give me blood, because a transfusion would most likely kill me, and I hadn’t taken an ounce of prescription drug since that fateful night in the alley, so that was out of the question.
Taking a step away from the large mirror that blanketed the northern wall, I turned, pulled the shower curtain aside, and ran a shower, slipping inside after the water had increased in temperature. The simple act of water hitting my body forced flares of pain to develop where each of the sores were, but I bore through the pain and ran my hands over my face, rubbing away dirt that had long since made its way into my pores.
What am I going to do? I thought, closing my eyes. How am I going to survive?
Leaning against the wall, I began to cry.
Maybe this was the salvation I had waited for all along.
Maybe this was the way I would finally leave this world.